Self Pep Talk

It is an amazingly liberating feeling to finally grasp the concept of being free in Christ.
Being free not to sin.

It sounds like such a strange idea; sin equating bondage. 
But how many times have you done something you regret, 
and then sat there thinking about it, 
dwelling on it,
rolling it over and over in your mind, 
imagining how you ought to be punished, 
wondering how you will make up for it. 

You are forgiven, and you know it, but you somehow feel that there must be more to it than that. 

That's when you are most in danger of being gradually drawn into habitual sin; 
a vicious cycle of sin, guilt, and self-inflicted retribution. 
You've messed up, fallen down, but instead of getting up, dusting yourself off and carrying on, 
You convince yourself that you need to somehow make up for what you've done before returning to the cross. 

But that's just it, that's what the cross was, is, and ever will be for!
HE paid the price. No retribution (self inflicted or otherwise) will compare to that payment paid on the cross. 
Stop belittling HIS suffering! 
Nothing you could do could save you. And nothing you can do now can pay the price for your sin.
Nothing but the blood!

Sin has consequences, indeed, some harsher than others, but don't sit around waiting for them. Do not allow the rift in your relationship with God caused by your sin to widen due to lack of an ability to understand that even the sin yet to be committed has been paid for. 

Go to your Father in humble repentance, then go and sin no more. 

Be free!

The Man I'm Waiting For

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman.

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who understands that submission is not weakness, and true strength is portrayed in a willingness, even eagerness, to humbly obey and serve. That submission is in fact a natural response to the receipt of the sacrificial, Christ to church type love. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who is secure in her identity in Christ, so much so that she doesn't waste time arguing about roles, chores, and status. She does all that she does as unto the Lord knowing that Christ's opinion of how her labour is valued is the only one that matters, and her reward will come one day when it truly counts. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman whose high hopes and expectations are staked on the only one who will never let her down. A woman who knows who will supply all her needs, and from whence cometh her help. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who does everything without murmuring and complaining. Who never uses hormones as an excuse to disobey the commandments to be kind, tender hearted and forgiving. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who is clothed with good deeds, suitable for a woman who professes to serve Christ. Her modesty is what first caught his eye, and her character is what keeps it. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who sees beyond the cliche interpretations of Proverbs 31, to the heart and root of the chapter, realising that only virtuous women make virtuous wives. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who's waiting for him. A woman who knows that as she waits for the man of her dreams she should busy herself preparing to be the woman that would complement such a man; redeeming her time in the season that she is in. 

The man I'm waiting for is looking for a woman who prays without ceasing; having experienced the truth that the prayers of the righteous avails much. 

Lord, help me be the woman that the man I'm waiting for is looking for! 

A Lesson in Trust

You stand there on unstable footing, head tilted back in defiance of doubt, eyes locked onto the intended target, and arms outstretched in abandon of reason. 

You stand there staking all on the assumption that your request, will not go unanswered. Your collateral is the times before that you were not left wanting. Already you seem to have forgotten the times you cried in frustration and confusion as to why your outstretched arms did not yield immediate escape from your unpleasant, uncomfortable circumstance. Or perhaps you can somehow sense that when your call to be lifted goes unnoticed, it is for your own good. 

You stand there; your default assumption that your cries do not go unheard and will result in the fulfillment of all your needs. To assume anything else is to imply failure of your supplier, and for you, that is not an option, that is unfathomable. Yet the one in whom you trust so totally is I.  I who suffered no pain in your creation, I who go home at the end of the day and miss the midnight pangs and tears. 

Still I think of how my heart leaps with joy when I see your little arms reaching up to me, needing me. I think of how privileged I feel that you call out to me, knowing that I will not ignore you, that I in fact can not turn a blind eye nor a deaf ear. I think of how much I love you... then, then I think of a much deeper love. A love greater than which is not to be found among man. A love that is only imperfectly mirrored in my constant answer to your cries and your unwavering belief that they will be answered. 

You stand there in innocence teaching me through your wise example the relationship of trust that I ought to have with my Father. Reminding me of He who more than me can supply all needs. He who promises to keep in perfect peace the child who keeps a steadfast mind and trusts in Him. You unknowingly live out a perfect example of the trust I should adopt. A trust strengthened by memories of the times before when He met my outstretched arms with His warm embrace. A trust nurtured by the realisation that the times when I was left to cry for some time, resulted in a stronger, more patient me. 

My dear child, you teach me the true meaning of The Stand; to stand arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all. To stand my soul surrendered to the One in whom I find my identity. 

Father, All I am is Yours. 

Why I Can't Complain

So, I'm sitting in my garden outside my locked house for which I don't have the key, and I'm thinking, there are just so many reasons that I can't complain about this unfortunate situation. 

The most obvious reason is of course that it's my own fault for leaving the keys inside... but there are far more reasons that require further analysis and some insight into the details of the situation.

I've got time, so allow me to spend it counting my blessings...

First of all, this whole mess occurred due to the fact that I failed to transfer my keys (along with everything else I needed) from one handbag to the next. This sheds light on the fact that I own more than one handbag... I have quite a few actually, to match the large collection of shoes I've amassed, not to mention that I actually have a house to be locked out of. 

But yes, let's move on from the more basic blessings that we all allow ourselves to take for granted in such situations. 

I wouldn't dare complain about the fact that my keys were the only necessary item that remained locked inside the house. Had I also left my wallet, my phone or the documents I needed for the appointment that I managed to make, I would have been in a far worse situation. 

I could complain, however, that God didn't answer my pleading prayers that the door would miraculously open, that the keys would mysteriously surface in my bag or even that I would have absentmindedly forgotten to lock the back door before I absentmindedly locked the front door with my keys still inside. I even mentioned to Him that, being the considerate pray-er that I am, I was willing to settle for an unlocked window... I did everything short of promising to fast and pray for a few weeks afterwards in thanksgiving (although I thought about it so maybe that counts as a prayer?)... 

But He did answer my prayers, just not how I'd specified... He chose to answer my prayer differently, simultaneously answering an earlier request that He provide me with some fresh blogging material, and the time to devote to it.

How'd he answer my prayer you ask? Finally, something to complain about, in about 2 hours, I have to walk a mile to collect a spare key from my landlord, walk back home to unlock the door and collect my key, walk back to return the key and finally return home for the evening... (yea He chose to also answer my prayer for motivation and opportunity to increase my exercise, talk about killing 3 birds with 1 stone). Of course that complaint is synonymous with complaining that I serve a wise, hearing God with a sense of humour, have a kind landlord, and have 2 well functioning legs.... So basically, I guess I can't complain. 

Night Out

Its Saturday night and my crocks and untamed afro stand in marked contrast to the heels and hairdos adorned by those surrounding this high street bus stop.
My mind flashes back to a similar scene of a girl in a black dress and red heels just the night before.

I suddenly recall noticing the sympathy she exuded observing those who chose to respond to the music's insistence that he no want no boring whine. I see her wondering under whose authority the revellers were claiming to be blessed, and in whom and to whom they were promising to hope and pray.

She watched silently as individuals willingly obedient to the influence of the drink she had only earlier consumed migraine skanked, dropped down low, and whined 'pon a profane word like a bicycle. 

She reminisced being struck with the realisation that she had paid money to enter a dark, hot, room where smelly smoke was pumped into your face, the music constantly degraded you to an object to be ogled, bent over and rubbed up against, and the company was less than desirable. She had paid to be subjected to unwanted attention, advances, and physical contact. 

I snapped back to the present and looked around at those at that bus stop wondering how many would end the night in bed with tomorrow's regrets waiting to hit them over the head and subject them to a slow, painful recollection of the nights activities, this time without the support of a liquid mood enhancer. 

I looked around and thanked God that the girl in the black dress and red heels, despite ignoring the nagging feeling that she was in a place she didn't belong; had, had a night she'd never forget, rather than one she couldn't remember. 

Dress - £12, Shoes - £20, Clutch - £8, Makeup - £15, Hair products - £10, Preparation time - 4 hours, Mood enhancer necessary to ensure a good time is had - £20, Taxi - £10, Entrance - £5, Mood re-enhancer - £10, The realisation that I agree to spend a small fortune every other weekend in order to conform to society's definition of what's fun, priceless...

Have You Considered My Servant Job?

One of my favorite Bible stories of all times is the story of Job. Actually, lately, I've been going through a season in my life where I feel God is revealing to me more and more of His character, of who He is, through Sunday morning messages, passages read for morning devotions, Bible studies (no I'm not just tryna say I'm a busy Christian lol), I've been standing in front of a mirror, praying that He show me what I fail to see, and He's just upstaged me completely. Haven't quite worked out what it's all about yet, but I am exploring it with a fervent hunger. 

But yes, back to Job. His story gets me every time. But you know, it's not the fact that he lost everything and didn't blame God, it's not the getting it all back, it's not the wise responses he afforded his foolish friends, it's the part when God speaks that gives me goosebumps. 

Let me lay it out how I see it. So you have this guy Job, he is as perfect as a human can be (other than Jesus). This guy is so good, that if he hears that his children are throwing a party, he offers sacrifices for them afterwards, in case they have sinned and need redemption. Job used to stand by the road miles from his house and insist that travelers stop by his house to rest. More than that, he didn't even boast about it, if he had, then his friends who came to council him later on would have known all this and had less "ammunition" with which to judge him. He got someone's attention though, I mean by God's own testimony the man was "blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." (Job 1:8) (wouldn't I love to be described like that by God... wow)

So yea, the devil is like, yea, yea of course he's perfect it's cus his life is so comfortable. So God gives him freedom to make it uncomfortable. Long story shortened, Job loses everything except his life, then has to defend his honour to friends who are convinced that he's suffering due to un-confessed sin (where have I heard that before... *rolls eyes*).

Right, so I'm following all this right, and I am just so impatient for God to jump in and be like "Oi! This is my blameless and upright son you are talking about, leave him alone." I mean imagine yea, the book of Job has 42 chapters. The whole thing about Job's life, how good he was, how he lost everything, is summed up in chapter 1 and the first half of chapter 2. By chapter 2 verse 11, Job's friends have already showed up. and they talk straight through to chapter 37!! By this time, I am heated, and I mean, I know how the story ends, I can't begin to imagine what it's been like for Job. I'm just itching for him to be put out of his misery.

So finally, chapter 38, the Lord speaks out of a storm, and what does he say?

"Who is this that darkens my counsel 

with words without knowledge?

 Brace yourself like a man; 

I will question you, 

and you shall answer me."

Not bad right, except, He's talking to Job!!! Now, I'm sorry, I am not a Bible scholar, so maybe I missed something, but I have been over the preceding 37 chapters again and again, I have read various commentaries and I fail to see what Job did to warrant the 4 chapters of God's answer, when his 3 friends get 4 verses! 

But that's just it, that's why I love the book of Job so much. I mean Where was I when God laid the earth's foundation? Do I know when the mountain goats give birth? Where does darkness reside? I don't even know how to put into words what goes through me when I read those 4 chapters of God's questions. It is a mixture of awe and confusion and reverence and fear... it's a glimpse into the actions of a being who "will have mercy on whom He will have mercy, and will have compassion on whom He will have compassion." It is a reminder that not even a blameless and upright man can contend with the Almighty. 

So what's my point? The next time you're having a bad day, you know the kind [see: previous post], and your mind is telling you that you did nothing to deserve it, just listen out for that still, small voice whispering, "Have you considered my servant Job?". I end with the following verses that send shivers down my spine each time I read them. 

"Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you will answer me. 

Would you discredit MY justice? Would you condemn ME to justify yourself?

Do you have an arm like God's, and can your voice thunder like HIS?

Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at every proud man and bring him low, 

look at every proud man and humble him, crush the wicked where they stand.

Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave.

Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you."

Hypothesis Testing

Jesus - Matthew 10:22: 'People will hate you if you start talking about me and what I teach.'

@Creationtips: "Some people will tolerate anything except Christians who believe the Bible." 

Let's test this hypothesis shall we:


Do you know that I'm a Christian?

Of course, you go to church, and sing and stuff, but it's not like you're one of those bib...

Bible Bashers? Hmmmm ok, Did you know that I believe that God created the world in six days? That Jesus Christ was the son of God sent to Earth to die for man's sin and offer us the free gift of salvation? That the Bible is God's Word?

Lol, Joy-Ann, seriously....

Right, ok, seriously? More practical? Did you know that I believe that swearing, gossiping, and sex before marriage just like lying, stealing, and murder is a sin?

Huh? But you've... But Ro... 

I said I was a Christian, not perfect. In fact I believe that everyone sins, and therefore fails to earn God's grace (Rom 3:23). 

Ok... but it's not like you're saying things like...

Did you know that I believe that homosexuality is a sin? Did you know I was pro-life?

Whoa! Hold on a minute...

Yup, here we go, did you know that I believe that the only way to get to heaven is through the acceptance of Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour?

Who are you to judge? I'm going to be very honest, I'm not sure we can be  friends, you're starting to sound very intolerant and close minded....

I had a feeling you might say something like that. That null hypothesis is looking more and more verifiable... Now let's test yours? I'm prepared to lose reputation, job opportunities, status, friends, and yes, if it came to it, my life, for His sake (Matt 10:22).
But before we agree to disagree on the rejection of H1 versus H2, before you hit that unfriend button, please consider this; I have always held these beliefs. Yea, its true! The same way that I've always (well since I met you) known what you believe. You know what I mean, that Christians are narrow minded, judgmental, damnation preaching, Bible bashing hypocrites who were gullible enough to be taken in by bad people using religion as a tool of oppression and control (or some variation or the other). My beliefs have not changed, the only difference is, now you know for sure. What you do with this new knowledge is up to you. I'm still me.